We adore the Supreme Court, especially with Justices Alito, Scalia, Thomas, Roberts and Kennedy holding fast against faddish inventions like the “television” device. The young kids are all twenty-three-skidoo about these novelty machines, but the Justices wisely advise a wait-and-see approach before going dad-gum crazy over consarn foolish ideas. Read on…
Don’t You Give Money to Those Haitians
January 15th, 2010One of our nation’s great patriots has pointed out that it’s un-American to help the un-white victims of the earthquake in Haiti. Because, you know, you already gave at the office. And besides, compassion is a librul vice. Read on…
Devil-Loving Haitians Get What They Deserve
January 13th, 2010Did you know there was some earthquake in Haiti? Apparently this is some non-Murkin country. Anyway, it was only a matter of time until we learned the full story about that. And as you might have guessed, it involves our loving, wrathful God. And the Devil. Read on…
Guantánamo Muslims to be Cruelly Wrenched from Resort Lifestyle and Torture They so Enjoy
January 8th, 2010Meh. Guantánamo. First of all, we need it to exact terrifying revenge on random Muslims picked up along obscure roads, and to torture them into submission. ‘Cause hey, Islam means “submission,” amiright? So there should be no mercy for them. Also, Guantánamo is actually kind of like a spa resort. Read on…