You know it was only a matter of time before libruls tried to invite an invasion by those sneaky, health care-lovin’ Canadians by destroying our military. But who would have guessed they’d begin with a Godless attack on dodgeball?
Now you may think of dodgeball as the most pathetic athletic copout ever. You know, when the teacher just threw a ball onto the asphalt so kids could go wild bashing in each others’ faces while the teacher went out to smoke a cigarette. But don’t you know it’s a God-given Murkin right to engage in this most sublime art form? It’s even called “sports.” The White Supremacists are all over this sissy shit, and good for them. They all loved playing dodgeball as kids, before they got their first gun.
Thank God for those John Birchers, too. They are wise to the anti-male program in our schools. See what happens when God is thrown out of school?
And Phyllis Schlafly is on to the Feminist vendetta against men, also. She knows how women think, having been one in the past, before she became Phyllis Schlafly. American kids are getting fat and lazy, she warns. Not that she’s worried about their health —God no, that would be socialist—but because it makes them unable to fight wars. And that’s a crisis, because Phyllis Schalfly has several wars in mind. Also, damn Chinese smirking over their precious Olympic medals.
Let’s see if they’re still smirking after we get our teenagers in shape and send them over there to devastate their cities, right Phyllis? When their precious Olympic medals are destroyed along with their precious stadiums and high-rises and underground churches and stuff.
Teachers. You see now why they’re nefarious? They would love nothing better than to see a mushroom cloud sprouting over every Murkin suburb, and Chinese getting jewelry. Why else would they want to ban dodgeball? Watch out for them.
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